


Memories of Love

by clgfanfic



Category: Soldier of Fortune Inc.
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:52:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clgfanfic/pseuds/clgfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post "Hired Guns."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Don't Ask, Don't Tell #1 and then One in Ten #3 under the pen name Casey Squire.

Man, I'd been looking forward to a little time off, and believe me, after our junket to Grand Camore Island, we all needed it.  That was one intense trip into the lion's den. And it was still eating at all of us that it was Margo who'd paid the price.  That is one strong lady.  She bounced right back from a nasty beating, but the major knew it'd be better if we all laid low for a few weeks; grabbed some quality down time.

Of course C.J. can't sit still for an hour.  He took the time to get in some real band time.  One of these days I'm going to have to go see one of his gigs…  Maybe. Our taste in music isn't exactly what you'd call "compatible."

Major Shepherd headed east to drop in on his sister in Michigan, then his brother in D.C.  I'll bet he also saw Trout, to let him know that we'd be unavailable for three weeks.

And Margo headed home to see her parents for a few days before taking an extended shopping trip across Europe.  She said shopping could cure anything, and I hope she's right.  Right now I figure she deserves whatever she wants.

I wasn't feeling like a trip to Philly, so I decided to hang out here, work on the German, spend some time in the gym, and just take it easy.  Besides, Benny Ray had decided to stay put too, and I figured we'd be able to get in a little volleyball time.  There are these two semi-pro players, real lookers, that we've been trying to hook-up with and this was the perfect opportunity to push that plan forward.

And, to tell you the truth, I was hoping that we'd get a chance to spend a day or two with Benny Ray's kids.  As much as I hate to admit it, I miss spending time with kids, and his are great.  Besides, I really enjoy the look on his face when he's with them.  He loves them, a lot.

And, when you get right down to it, I just like spending time with Benny Ray. He's a damned good-looking man.  Now, you have to understand, ever since I was a teenager I've found both men and women interesting.  But it's damned hard to find a guy who'll keep his mouth shut, and in my neighborhood you didn't want to get labeled a "fag."  It was bad enough just getting by without that shit.  But over the years I've had a few male lovers – except while I was in the Army.  There was no way in hell I was getting a dishonorable discharge for homosexual acts.  And I really enjoyed myself.  But I guess I just got into the habit of not looking at men.  I mean it's not like there aren't a _lot_ of fantastic looking ladies out there, you know?

When I got out of the Army and went home, I started teaching track at a local high school and I knew I couldn't let myself get involved with a man while I was doing that, either.  No way the school board was going let a "queer" teach track with a bunch of young boys.  So basically I've been doing the girl thing for a lot of years.

Then Major Shepherd dropped by and recruited me for his team and I met Benny Ray.

Man, talk about making my mouth water.  He is built.  And even with that flattop he's a ten on my meter.  I love those intense blue eyes and that damned country-boy smile…  Wish he'd use it more often.

But you know how it is.  The man was married, had three kids, there was no way he's gonna be interested in another man, right?

Wrong.

But I didn't know that.  Well, not until the third day of our three week vacation.  Then I guess you could say that I got an education.

I was in the basement, doing some bodybag work and Benny Ray told me he was heading off to the gym.  After an hour or so I decided that I'd join him, but when I got there he was nowhere to be found.  The gym was closed – they don't open until ten and it was about eight – but we all have a key so we can get in some heavy weight work after our 0500 run.  The owner's a retired Navy Master Chief, Donald Ross, a real crusty old sea dog.

Well, I was going to leave and see if I could track Benny Ray down at the bakery – he's got a sweet tooth and they make this to-die-for cinnamon horn breakfast roll he likes. 

My hand was on the doorknob when I heard it – a low moan.  It kind of scared me.  I mean, was he hurt?  Had something happened?

I headed back toward the showers and the locker rooms and heard it again.  But this time I could tell that it wasn't a groan of pain, but one of pleasure.  I wasn't sure what was up, but my curiosity forced me to take a look.

Did Benny Ray have a woman back there?

That's what I expected, but it sure wasn't what I found.

When I entered the shower area I heard another moan.  It was coming from the small alcove off the locker room.  It was where Don taped up the guys who were going to spar in the boxing ring, and where he patched them up afterwards.  There used to be a masseuse who'd give you a rub down after a workout, but she got a better paying job in a gym in Venice Beach.

I didn't want to interrupt anything, so I was careful to stay quiet and out of sight while I made my way to the doorway of the small room.  I sneaked a peek and got more than an eyeful.  Charlie, one of the guys who works at the gym as an instructor was stretching his mouth over Benny Ray's incredibly hard cock.

I jerked back, and had to catch my breath.  I probably should've left right then, but I couldn't.  I mean, here was one of my hottest fantasies and it was being acted out right there for the viewing.

I heard Benny Ray suck in a sharp breath and groan, "Oh yeah," and knew I had to watch.

The lights in the locker room were off, so it was easy to find a nice dark shadow. Besides, the two of them were oblivious to everything but what was happening between them.

I squatted down and enjoyed the show.

Benny Ray was sitting on the edge of the massage table, leaning back with his head thrown back and his eyes closed, really enjoying the blowjob Charlie was giving him.  I took the opportunity to take a good long look at the man.  His powerful chest and shoulders, his washboard abdomen, well muscled thighs, are nice and tan, except for where his tight green speedos keep him legal.  But it was his pole that really caught my attention.  The man is _built_ – give a brother a run for his money.  And Charlie was having some trouble stuffing Benny Ray's entire shaft down his throat, but Benny Ray didn't seem to notice.  He was getting off on the tongue work.

I got so hard so fast it left me lightheaded!

Benny Ray's eyes cracked open, and for a second I thought he'd seen me, but he hadn't, and those beautiful blue eyes closed again when Charlie's tongue swirled around the head of Benny Ray's cock.  I saw the first blast of cream hit Charlie's face, then the man swallowed that incredible cock and sucked Benny Ray dry while he pumped into the man's face.

I knew I'd better get the hell out of there while I had the chance.

I high-tailed it back to the Silver Star and headed straight to the shower.  It took me about three good pulls on my own cock before I was shooting cream down the drain.  I'd thought Benny Ray was hot before, but now all I could see was that love pole of his and the expression on his face.  And I knew, no matter what, I was going to get that man into bed and fuck him into oblivion.

Later that day I suggested that we pack up some gear and head up to Little Creek Camp.  It's really just a collection of seven cabins scattered over five acres up in the San Bernardino Mountains near Big Bear Lake.  They're owned by an ex-Navy SEAL who took a bullet through the chest and had to take early retirement.  Benny Ray knows the man, and he introduced me to the area when we took his kids up there for a weekend a few months earlier.  He smiled and nodded.

It took us a couple of hours to pull our gear together and get it loaded into the back of Benny Ray's Dodge.  Then we hit the road, stopping in Colton for lunch and picking up some food from a local grocery store that we tossed in the three coolers sitting in the back of the pickup.  That done, we drove up to the biggest cabin that serves as Tony Osco's home and office.

Tony gave Benny Ray a bear hug and for a second I was jealous as hell.  But I knew these guys hadn't fucked around, so it passed, leaving me feeling a little stupid, but knowing that I had to pull off this seduction.

Tony gave us the most remote cabin he had, and I couldn't help wishing that he'd done it because Benny Ray had asked him to.  Maybe the next time he would… If the next several days went the way I wanted them to.

We pulled up in front of the A-frame cabin and Benny Ray parked so we could off-load the gear right onto the front porch.  I took care of the kitchen and Benny Ray stowed our stuff in the bedrooms.  Once everything was put up we headed out to the

back porch to drink a beer and enjoy the scenery.  It really is beautiful up there.

"Well," Benny Ray said, "guess I better get some wood chopped.  It'll get nippy up here at night and that's the only heat."

"Sounds good.  I'll get the barbecue going and get the steaks on," I said.

"Deal," he replied, flashing me that dimpled smile.

I got the built-in gas barbecue going, then went in to get the steaks and some fresh vegetables that I planned to grill.  When I got back outside I stumbled to a stop.  The sight of Benny Ray took my breath away.  He'd stripped off his t-shirt, and my pole stirred restlessly as I stared in appreciation at the man's well-formed back.  The muscles rippled as he lifted the ax over his head, then brought it down, cleaving the block of wood sitting on the old tree stump.

I set the meat and vegetables down and forced myself to get things cooking, but every couple of seconds I'd look up and watch Benny Ray work.  Sweat covered his skin, making it shine.  A lustful hunger like nothing I'd experienced with another man chewed through my gut and groin.  My fully aroused pole throbbed inside my pants and I made a quick rearrangement.

I got the steaks on and was working on getting the rest ready to go when Benny Ray joined me on the porch.  The sight of him made my mouth go dry and I had to take a long swallow of beer before I could say, "All done?"

He nodded, moving closer to the grill.  I ogled his flat belly, his powerful arms and shoulders, and his sweaty chest.  He had just a light pattern of hair that captured drops of sweat here and there.  I wanted to walk around the grill and get a taste, but I knew I couldn't move.  If I did he'd get a good look at the erection straining against the fabric of my jeans.

He look up at me with eyes so blue and beautiful that I almost came right there.  Lost in their bewitching intensity I found myself helplessly tongue-tied.

"Smells good," Benny Ray said.

I managed a nod.

He picked up his beer and tilted it back, taking several long swallows.  "Mind if I go grab a shower?"

I shook my head, still staring at him like a kid at his first circus.

"Back in a sec," he promised, then asked, "You okay, amigo?"

Realizing that I must look like a fool, I licked my lips, dropped my gaze, and took a deep breath.  I raised my head and meet his eyes.  "Yeah, fine.  Get that shower.  Supper should be ready when you're done."

"Sounds good," he said, then headed inside.

I leaned back against the wall and shook my head.  This wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.  My control was non-existent.

Ten, maybe fifteen minutes later, Benny Ray came back out dressed in a pair of OD shorts and that sleeveless grey T-shirt I like – it shows off his muscular arms. He was carrying two more beers and handed me one before he dropped into a chair at the small table.  He twisted off the top of his bottle and tipped back a sip.

"Good idea," he said.

"Coming out here?"  Thank God he's not psychic.

"Yep.  Peace and quiet.  Just what the doc ordered."

I nodded. 

"How many hot babes this gonna piss off?"

I grinned.  "A few, but it's nothing that can't be fixed."

Benny Ray chuckled softly – a sound that had my pole jumping – and shook his head.  "Man, where _do_ you find them?"

"Trade secret," I said.  "I like sex."

"Who doesn't?"

I shrugged and pulled off the vegetables, maneuvering them onto our plates.  The steaks followed, nice and rare.  I carried the two plates to the table and set them down.  Taking my seat, I lifted my beer for a toast.  "To enjoying life," I said.

Benny Ray tapped his bottle against mine, saying, "Amen, Brother."

We settled into a comfortable silence, enjoying the food and the sunset.  When we were done, we carried the dishes back into the well-stocked kitchen and washed them.  We both reached into the soapy water for the last fork and our fingers tangled.  I felt tingles run up and down my spine at Benny Ray's touch, and forced myself to pull my hand away.

Dimples creased his cheeks as Benny Ray smiled.  His teeth are straight and pearly white.  "This can wait," he said, drying his hands, then heading for the patio door, explaining, "We better get some wood in before it's too dark."

"Right," I said, following him out to carry in an armful.  We stacked the split logs in a big wooden box in the corner closest to the large fireplace.  Once that was done, Benny Ray set about building a fire in the flagstone hearth.  When he had it started he picked up a brass poker and rubbed his hand over the shiny carved handle.  "Nice," he said.

I couldn't help but wish that it was my throbbing cock he was gliding his hand up and down, but I nodded.  Ignoring the growing pain between my legs, and knowing that I was going to have to take care of the problem real soon, I headed back to the kitchen to finish off the dishes and make some coffee.

Benny Ray came in a few minutes later and leaned back against the counter, waiting for the coffee to finish.  _Damn, he's beautiful_ , I thought, feeling my totally engorged pole snake a little further down my leg.

Out of the corner of my eye I studied his sensuous profile, admiring the high set of his cheekbones, the firm, square chin, and his slightly turned-up nose.

"Want a cup?" he asked.

"You bet," I replied.

"I'll bring it in," Benny Ray said.  "Go sit down."

I nodded, grateful to escape for a moment.  I headed into the living room and took a seat on the couch across from the fireplace.  The flames danced and snapped across the surface of the burning logs.  In the blaze I could see Benny Ray sitting on the edge of that table, Charlie working over his rock-hard cock…

I stood up too fast, and shook my head when a wave of vertigo hit me.  I didn't even realize that I wasn't alone until I heard the _clink_ as Benny Ray set two coffee cups down on the coffee table.

Then he was standing in front of me.

"Hey, what's goin' on?"

I felt myself sway slightly, and the next thing I knew Benny Ray wrapped his powerful arms around my waist.  "Whoa, amigo," he said.  "You better sit down."

It was then that he noticed my hard-on.

"That for me?" he asked, his voice half-question, half-tease.

There was no use in denying it, so I nodded and watched those stunning blue eyes widen.  Then he drew me close and teasingly ran his tongue over my lips.

I closed my eyes and groaned.  That was way too easy.

My legs felt rubbery, my belly quivered, and my cock was throbbing like a bad toothache.  "You damn tease," I hissed.

"What d'ya want, Chance?" he asked, his voice low and earnest.

"You," I replied immediately, trailing my fingers up and down his muscular back.  "I want you to love me."

I jerked as he rubbed his crotch against mine.  He was sporting a hell of a hard-on as well, but I didn't get much of a chance to appreciate it.  He hungrily claimed my lips in a long, passionate kiss.

We stood there for a while, our lips and tongues exploring one another while our desire flared, making our bodies hot.  Then, with his intoxicating face flushed, Benny Ray took my hand and led me up the short flight of stairs to the single bedroom.  It took me a moment to realize that he _had_ asked for a cabin with one bed, and my earlier jealousy came rushing back.  That meant Tony Osco knew.

He knew exactly what we were doing.  But if Osco knew—

My eyes went wide.  "You saw me," I whispered.

He nodded, a small, playful grin on his kiss-darkened lips.  We crossed to the bed and stood, gazing into each other's eyes.  I was surprised at how comfortable I felt, how secure.  I wasn't nervous or afraid.  I knew what I wanted and it appeared that Benny Ray did too.

He undressed me with a tenderness that belied his size and strength, then, seating me on the edge of the bed, he slipped out of his shirt and shorts.  I couldn't help myself, I had to reach out and touch that wonderful cock.  It rose at a sharp forty-five degree angle that just begged me to lean forward and lick it, but before I could Benny Ray knelt between my legs, leaned forward, and gently mauled my nipples with his lips and teeth.

He twirled his hot tongue around the hard nub of first one, then the other, then sucked on both until they were as hard as pebbles.  Leisurely, he moved down my chest, licking, nipping, and kissing every inch of my flesh.

"God, Benny Ray," I moaned as his tongue flicked across the seeping head of my cock before spiraling down to the base.

There was a hungry, half-wild gleam in his eyes as he lifted his head for a second.  "Whatdaya want?" he asked.

"Anything you want to do," I replied airily.

He pushed me back, raised my legs over his shoulders, and once again buried his head between my thighs.  He nuzzled my balls, lapped between them, then drew them into his moist, hot mouth.

Goosebumps broke out all over my heated flesh as he rolled them around.  "Yes," I hissed as shivers raced up and down my spine.  "Yes…"

I'm not sure how long Benny Ray worked my balls, but the next thing I remember was his fiery tongue playing at the hole of my cock.  That tongue burned a path around the rim of my head, then torched my entire shaft with its heat.

Writhing, I dug my fingers into the blankets as he finally opened his mouth and inched slowly down my rod until his nose bumped my belly.

"Oh, sweet God," I growled as his mouth and throat tightened around my meat.  I started jerking and filled his mouth with my juice.

Benny Ray sucked me dry, licked me clean, then lifted his head and winked at me.  "Tasty," he said, then moved to flop down next to me.

I wanted to wipe that shit-ass grin off his face, but all I could do was gulp in lungfuls of air.

"Bet you're glad to finally get rid of that," he said.

I nodded.  "Had it all damned day.  Since I saw you…"  I trailed off, not sure how he really felt about me knowing his secret.

"First time, only time," he replied.  "Charlie's headed for Miami."

"Then why?"

"Later," Benny Ray replied, guiding my hand to his hot, rigid cock.  "Right now I—"

"I want you," I interrupted, then added, "I want you to love me – you know."

He gave me a wide-eyed, innocent look.  "You want what?"

"You bastard," I muttered, then said more loudly, "I want you to fuck my ass, white trash."  I squeezed his cock.

He grinned and laughed.  "Had that all day, too."

Benny Ray's fingers moved across my belly, then down into my crotch.  He kissed me lightly as he touched and stroked my flaccid shaft until it stirred with renewed interest.  The gentle pressure of his palm and the slow purposeful curling of his fingers around the base ignited the fire all over again.

"Damned nice piece of meat," he drawled softly.

"It's your meat I want, damn it."

With a low moan, I rolled him onto his back and covered his alluring body with my own.  I probed his mouth with my tongue and felt him tremble as I explored inside his upper lip and under his tongue.

"I want you inside me," I said, kissing down his neck and throat.  "You want to bury yourself inside of me?" I asked, straddling him.

"Damned right I do," he said.

"Don't move," I ordered, quickly hopping off and heading straight for my shaving kit.  Benny Ray had told me earlier that he'd put it in the bathroom, along with his.

Finding the small bag, I yanked the zipper open and pulled out a tube of KY and a condom, then headed back to my waiting lover.  He'd moved, but only a little.  He'd arranged the pillows and was leaning back against the wall, his cock poking straight up at the ceiling.

I climbed onto the bed and straddled him again.  I handed him the condom and while he slipped that over his blue-veined lance I reached back and rubbed lube into my ass.  Threading the cap back onto the tube, I tossed it aside.

Shivering in anticipation, I lifted my ass and positioned myself over him, then slowly lowered my self until he was fully embedded within me.

A rapt expression of pure bliss crossed his face as he closed his eyes.  "That feels good," he sighed.  "So damned good."

With my hands braced against his chest, I lifted myself up, then lowered myself back down.  I did it again, then found a comfortable slow cadence.  I watched the pleasure play across his face with every move I made.

"Good?" I asked, tightening my muscles.

"Yeah," he breathed, pressing his hips up.

I raised up until only the tip of his cock was still inside me, then slowly slid back down.  His fingers dug into my ass cheeks and he arched his back, a strangled groan of pure pleasure escaping.  "Don't stop," he pleaded.

"Can't stop me now," I replied, moving halfway up his rod, pausing, and contracting my muscles again.  I released him, slid upward to the head and repeated the action.  He pressed up again, trying to slid back into my hot ass, but I kept him out, making him jerk and squirm under me.

Then I sat back down.

"Oh, shit," he hissed, arching and slamming his hips against my ass.

I reached out and fingered his nipples, then held him inside while I leaned forward and sucked on them.

"I can't hold back much longer," he groaned, reaching in to grab my hard pole and pulling on it.

I straightened and began riding his thick pole again.  "Come on, Benny Ray," I said softly, raising and lowering myself faster and faster while I pinched his nipples.  "Give it to me."

Benny Ray grit his teeth.  "Not yet," he panted.  "Feels too damned good to stop."

I rode him harder, panting with the effort and the effect he was having on me.  "Give it to me," I growled.

"Oh, Jesus," he cried, violent spasms shaking his entire body as he filled the condom with his cream.

"Yes," I moaned, my cum shooting free, splattering his chest in long stringy strands.

Totally drained, I hung my head and listened to the pounding of my own heart, then, feeling weak, I pulled off and collapsed beside him.  I watched his cock slowly go soft, then reached down and pulled the condom off and leaned over to drop it into the small wastebasket next to the nightstand.

That done, I reached back and wiped some of the remaining juice off his head and tasted it.  "Not bad," I said.  "Next time I'm going to eat you until you beg."

Benny Ray chuckled.  "Sounds good to me."

"Tell me about Charlie," I said.

"Nothing to tell.  He was there this morning.  I was working out and he told me he was leavin'.  Then he said he'd had the hots for me and wanted to blow me."

"And how could you turn down an offer like that, right?"

"Damn, Chance, I've been so damned hot and bothered thinkin' about you I knew I had to do somethin' if I was gonna spend three weeks alone with you."

"You've wanted me?"

"Hell, yes!" he replied.  "You're the best lookin' man I've ever laid eyes on.  And you're a player… and a friend.  A good friend."

"Too damned funny," I said.  "And here I've been thinking that there's no way.  You were married."

"Yeah, I was married, and I like the ladies just fine, but they're not who really sets my rocks on fire, if you know what I mean."

"Amen, Brother Ray, amen."

"Had to hide it for a long, long time."

"Osco?"

"A one-time deal.  An exercise.  We were stuck in the woods waiting for a convoy.  Twenty-two hours with nothing to do…"

"Mmm," I said, rubbing my cream all over his chest.  "Good way to pass the time."

"You got it, amigo.  But it was just too damned dangerous in the Corp."

"Been there, done that."

"We're not in the military now."

"You noticed that?" I teased.

He grinned at me.  "This a one time thing?"

"Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Don't think the major'd approve."

"What the major don't know, the major don't know.  Besides, I think you might be underestimating the man."

Benny Ray shrugged.  "Maybe."

"Your wife know?"

He shook his head.  "I know she wouldn't have liked it."

"And now?"

"Now we're divorced, she's dating another man, and I'll do as I damn-well please."

It was my turn to smile.  "Then I suggest we get a shower and some sleep.  We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"A long day?" he asked.  "What're we doin'?"

"I'm going to make love to you all over these mountains.  Next to a stream, in a cave if we can find one, in a meadow—"

"Whoa, now.  What if ol' Smokey Bear finds us?"

"Then we shoot 'im and make love on a bear rug."

Benny Ray laughed.


End file.
